Isn’t it amazing how some people don’t seem to have a jealous bone in their bodies? Unlike the rest of us, nothing seems to bother them. I often wonder what it takes to become less jealous and competitive with others.
The main reason for wanting to get rid of jealousy is that it can cause you unwanted stress and anger toward others and often this anger is misdirected.
When we choose jealousy we often are doing it subconsciously, but when we feel this and start studying jealousy, we often find we are feeling it more often than we would like.
I find my jealousy is peaked by certain people in my life.
Some would call these people toxic, but some were good friends. I started to realize I was feeding into the competitiveness by trying to “one-up” the other person when they would go on and on about how great they are.
I started to realize after studying and researching jealousy, it was easy to let go by simply not feeding into it. It has worked wonders for me, and I also try to avoid people that are constantly trying to make me feel bad by talking about how great they are and how everything they do is so much better than my life.
I don’t need it and I learned to stop caring so much about what others think of me over the years. It is very freeing.
Yet, jealousy can still pop up. Often we are jealous in relationships and it is normal to have a small amount of jealousy with your partner. Yet, when it becomes overbearing and it is affecting your daily life, it is time for a change.
So that is the question posed today… “How do I get rid of jealousy?”
If you try the tips listed below, you will slowly train your brain to stop your jealous streaks and anxiety and start to heal and let go.
20 Tips to Get Rid of Jealousy
#1 Increase Your Self-Esteem
Find ways to increase your self-esteem. Read self-help books and hang around positive people that make you feel good about yourself. You will start to see the jealous side of you melt away.
#2 Stop Caring What Others Think
This is obviously easier said than done, but ask yourself if you will care about this five years from now. Learning to stop caring about what people think is very freeing. It is harder when it comes to family, but only take criticism from people you would ask for advice. If you would not listen to them, let go of them and don’t hold on to what they say.
#3 Learn to Meditate
Research show meditation can help calm you, decrease anxiety and worry, and improve overall health. We should all be meditating every day. Yet, it is often not on the top of our “to do” list. Set aside ten minutes each morning to meditate. Use a guided meditation on Youtube if you can’t seem to get into it. Use that same meditative state to help you deal with anger and/or jealousy.
#4 Learn to Self-Sooth with Deep Breathing
Learn to stay calm by focusing on your breathing. Deep breathing can help relax the body and can be especially useful when that feeling of jealousy creeps in.
#5 Use Positive Affirmations
Find some positive affirmations and say them each day. By changing the way you feel about yourself, you can get rid of negative feelings such as jealousy.
You can literally train your brain to feel better about yourself and increase your self-esteem d self-worth.
#6 Let Go of Toxic People
Not everyone deserves to be around you. If you hang around toxic people you can expect to continue feeling lousy. Although it is difficult, some of these toxic people need to be cut from your life.
Start by paying attention to how people make you feel. Do you have the same feelings of jealousy or anger each time you are around a certain someone? If you constantly feel this way when you are around the person, chances are they are a toxic friend or even family member.
You can slowly cut ties with the person as you fill up your schedule with other friends that make you feel happier. The next time they want to hang out, you will be “busy” with your positive companions.
You can also be upfront with the person if you are feeling brave.
#7 Accept Yourself
Self-acceptance will help p you ward off jealous feelings. If you can truly accept yourself as you are, you will realize you don’t need to be jealous.
#8 Try Self-Care/Self-Love
Self-care and self-love will help you feel loved and taken care of. Learn how to practice self-care every day and do something for yourself, so you don’t feel depleted and deprived.
#9 Join a Positive Group
Once you start eliminating toxic people from your life, you can fill up your schedule with positive people by joining groups with others that have the same interests as you.
Find groups at your local church or city that involve hobbies or causes that are near and dear to you.
Try volunteering for a food bank or soup kitchen. Find a cause you are interested in and care about and make it your mission. By volunteering your time, you receive positive feelings inside yourself and this can help raise your self-esteem.
#11 Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff
Learn not to sweat the small stuff and also keep in mind, “It’s all small stuff.” This quote was first introduced to me in college and it helped me so much throughout my life as I tend to worry.
If you are worried about what others have, remember it’s “small stuff.” In the big realm of life, it doesn’t really matter.
Try to focus on things that do matter like family, laughing, and love.
Love will get you through anything.
#12 Practice Gratitude Daily
Continued practice of gratitude will leave you feeling happier and help conquer jealousy. Why? Because if you are grateful for what you have, you will care less about what you don’t have.
- Try to find some signs or affirmation you can say daily.
- Try using a gratitude journal to help you change your habit of jealousy to a better habit of gratitude.
- Try this gratitude journal to help you get started.
#13 Identify and Let Go of Jealousy
One way to change a feeling -and jealousy is a feeling- is to let yourself feel it. Let it sit for a minute. Once you process your feeling, you can learn to let go of the feeling.
The problem most people have is the stuff the feeling down… Way, way down. And when a feeling is stuffed down and not processed, it will come up again later, but it will show up as anger or a short temper.
So allow yourself to feel all of your feelings. Know that feelings are normal and valid and then let go of the feeling, especially if it is negative.
#14 Learn to Be Happy for Others
Have you heard the saying “Comparison is the thief of joy?” This saying really helped me let go of jealousy.
Learn to be happy for others that are doing well. Don’t compare yourself to them and allow yourself to feel joy for friends that are doing well.
#15 Listen to Positive Podcast or Videos Daily
If you continue to bring positivity into your life, you will end up being more positive. Yes, it may take a while, but continue to do your affirmations, positive reading, and find some amazing positive podcasts to listen to.
#16 Read Something Positive Daily
As mentioned above, find self-help books that resonate with you. Learn to set aside at least ten minutes, but even better twenty every day. Perhaps you can read 10 minutes in the morning and ten minutes before bed.
#17 Know Your Worth
You are worthy.
Every day of your life, you are worthy. Do not settle for feeling less than you truly are.
We all deserve happiness and you do too.
#18 Learn to Grow and Make Progress Daily
Just move the needle. You don’t have to build Rome today, my friend. If you can do something small to make a positive change, then that is good enough.
#19 Change Your Habits
Habits are simply your brain’s process of making life easier for you. The last time you drove, did you think about pressing the gas? Probably not because your brain has made this automatic for you.
Yet, if your habit (like jealousy) is negative, it takes some work to retrain your brain.
Yet, it is possible and you can retrain your brain. Your brain is like a muscle and the more you exercise positivity and gratitude, the more you will be able to continue to feel these feelings and replace your jealous tendencies.
#20 Be the Bigger Person
If someone is constantly bragging or trying to make you feel like you are worthless, don’t let jealousy overcome you. Be the bigger person and walk away. You can change the subject or tell them how happy you are for them.
If you take the high road, eventually the said person isn’t getting the response he or she wants and will eventually stop using these tactics on you.
You can set boundaries, but also be nice about it.
How to Overcome Jealousy Final Thoughts
Getting over jealousy is not always easy, but since you can retrain your brain, it is possible. Jealousy is a normal feeling and once you process it you can let go and feel contentment again. Remember to avoid toxic people and try not to put yourself in situations where people will continue to try to make you feel less than you are. You are worthy each and every day.